Imagine, if you will, sauntering up to Goodwood Festival of Speed and being greeted by what looks suspiciously like a roller skate that's had a bit too much to drink. Well, that's exactly what happened last year when the McMurtry Spéirling, a pint-sized speed demon, took center stage. In truth, it was met with the sort of looks you'd give a bulldog in a tutu. But then, it smashed the Goodwood speed record, and suddenly you could've heard a spanner drop.

That little pocket rocket, the Spéirling - or 'British Thunderstorm' for those not fluent in Gaelic - measures up at just 135.83 inches (3.5 m) long, 62.2 inches (1.6 m) wide, and stands at a height barely scraping 40.16 inches (1 m). We're talking about a car that's actually smaller than the Abarth 500, a car, I might add, that's basically a toaster on wheels. It's lighter too, and far more powerful than anything that has a right to be that size.

But the folks at McMurtry, like that annoying kid at school who always put his hand up first, decided they hadn't quite done enough. After the briefest victory dance, they whipped out their spanners and set about making the Spéirling even faster. The result? The Spéirling Pure - a name that sounds more like a bottled water brand than a track-ready speedster.

How did they do it? By shedding weight like a Kardashian before beach season, that's how. Everything, from the side skirts to the new chassis, the electrical loom, and the wheel size, was put on a ruthless diet. Even the brake system assembly got a workout - it lost a commendable 2.5% - while the new pedal box went full Biggest Loser, shedding a hefty 17%. It's attention to detail that makes even the fussiest F1 teams look like amateurs.

But there's a twist to this tale. The Spéirling is essentially a Hoover on wheels. It sucks the air from beneath it, sticking to the tarmac like a cockroach to a kitchen counter. This updated Pure model boasts an even better fan system, and the effects, I'm told, will have you pulling G-forces usually reserved for stunt pilots or astronauts.

What's more, the Spéirling Pure could make an elephant feel like a ballerina. With the ability to generate 3g in almost any corner, the average driver suddenly feels like they've overdone it on the Christmas pudding. Anything over 3g, and you'll be seriously questioning that greasy fry-up you had for breakfast.

Just how fast is this diddy devil? The previous model managed 0 to 60 mph in an eyeball-warping 1.4 seconds, and did the ¼ mile in 7.97 seconds, outpacing the Rimac Nevera by 0.4 and 0.3 seconds respectively. That's like beating Usain Bolt in a foot race by a good few strides. The Spéirling may only have 1,000 hp, but remember, this is all to the rear wheels - no fancy AWD or ABS here. That said, these records haven't been officially verified - more's the pity.

So, should you get one? Well, if you've got a spare $880,000 (€808,000) before taxes, then sure. The Pure version is for track use only and is eligible for the GT1 Sports Club racing class. You could, in theory, race it on tracks around the world, give or take the odd safety regulation. It has a 60 kWh battery that recharges in 20 minutes and offers full performance for multiple laps on the most extravagant of circuits. Oh, and they're only making 100 of these pocket rockets, with deliveries starting in 2025. So, you might need to skip a few coffees to save up. But remember, it's twice as much fun for half the price of a Rimac Nevera or Pininfarina Battista. What could be better than that?

Yours truly,

Captain Electro.