CyberStein, CyberBeer and... Cyberspace? Tesla's Electric Buzz!
Alright, ladies, gents, and everyone in between, let's chat about the wild world of electric cars. And no, we're not just going to talk about those shiny hunks of metal that whizz by silently, we're also diving into their... beer? Yes, that's right, I said beer!
So here I am, an automotive journo who's ridden and driven everything from gas-guzzlers to electric zippers. I've navigated the seas and soared the skies, but there's nothing I adore more than the open road with a roaring (or, nowadays, humming) engine. Now, when Tesla came around with their electric marvels, I was intrigued. And while I often fancy the comfort of my leather saddle and the purr of a traditional engine, these Teslas are growing on me. But beer? Oh, come on, Mr. Musk!
Tesla, the brainchild of everyone's favorite billionaire, has taken a pitstop from revolutionizing the automotive industry to, well... quench our thirst? Yes, you heard that right. Tesla's brewing up a storm with their limited-edition CyberBeer and CyberStein combo. And folks, it's not their first rodeo in the booze business. A while back, the European elite got to sip on the GigaBier pilsner – three bottles for a whopping 97 bucks. Ridiculously priced? Well, you bet. But hey, I've seen weirder things in my years of covering vehicles!
Thankfully, Uncle Sam's land wasn't left parched. For 150 green ones (that's $150, for the uninitiated), you can snag yourself two 11.2-ounce (that's about 330ml for our metric mates) bottles of CyberBeer. The Helles Lager, crafted with love by Buzzrock Brewing Co in sunny California, boasts a 7 percent ABV. And for those who're wondering, ABV stands for Alcohol By Volume, not Another Brilliant Venture, although, in this case, both might apply.
Then there's the design. Ah, the design! Glossy black bottles adorned with a CyberBeer watermark that apparently looks even more stunning when chilled. I suppose cold beer looks better, just like cold pizza tastes better? And don't get me started on those matte black steins inspired by the Cybertruck. Positively swanky.
Now, some might call this just another one of Tesla's antics. I mean, selling bottle openers for 50 bucks? A cat cradle inspired by the Cybertruck? It's clear they're brewing up more than just beer. They're crafting a lifestyle, creating a brand that's more than just cars. And trust me, when you've been around the block as much as I have, you'll appreciate a brand that can make you laugh, smirk, and occasionally shake your head in disbelief.
Yet, while we can enjoy our CyberBeers and toast with our CyberSteins, where oh where is the star of the show – the Cybertruck? With features like adaptive air suspension and rear-wheel steering, this behemoth has caught everyone's attention. But its production timeline is as mysterious as my uncle's famous "secret sauce." All we have are some glimpses of it parked at the Texas Gigafactory, teasing us like the last slice of pizza.
Now, for those who've been following Tesla's boozy adventures, you might remember the Tesla Tequila. While it's no longer around, the Tesla Sipping Glasses serve as a throwback. Cheers to past endeavors! But remember, not all of Tesla's merch has been a hit. The CyberQuad for Kids? Yanked off the market faster than you can say "safety first!"
So, there you have it. A whirlwind tour of Tesla's latest shenanigans. Will I get a CyberBeer? Maybe. But I'd rather have the Cybertruck. In the meantime, though, cheers to electric endeavors, tasty brews, and the ever-entertaining world of Tesla.
Yours truly,
Captain Electro
