America, Why Can't We Have Nice Things? The VW ID.6 Crozz Saga
Oh, how I have bumbled through my life, from the crashing waves of the ocean to the soaring heights of the skies, from riding the roaring dragons of gasoline to now sailing silently on electric waves! But today, let’s drop the sail and steer our ship towards the land of dragons and electric wonders, China. That's where Volkswagen seems to be hiding the keys to the future. The 2024 VW ID.6 Crozz. Now there’s a name.
You see, this large electric SUV, one I've been eagerly anticipating, makes the Tesla Model Y look like it's on a diet. Its majestic body stretches to 192.5 inches in length, 72.7 inches in width, and 66.1 inches in height. If you’re a math geek, that’s a whopping 116.7-inch wheelbase. And all this size and splendor, starting at the mere price of $35,000! Back in the States, or good old Europe, we fork over that much for a Fiat 500! I mean, we're basically trading in an entire elephant and getting a mouse. Talk about the Great American Robbery!
The new ID.6 Crozz, which is frustratingly exclusive to the Chinese market (VW, why?), boasts some eye-catching specs. At its heart lies a monstrous 84.8 kWh battery. The Pure and Pure+ models are raring to go with a 480-mile range. But the Pro? This beast will ride the lightning for a jaw-dropping 601 miles! Though, I must add a pinch of my customary skepticism here: CLTC ranges, from my decades of experience, often sound as if they've been estimated by someone who also believes in unicorns and flying pigs. 601 miles? And I've got a bridge to sell you!
This China-only electric Volkswagen comes in flavors of rear-wheel drives, namely the Pure, Pure+, and Pro. The Pro, which I fondly like to think of as the ‘middle child who ate too many batteries for breakfast’, is zapped by a 150 kW and 310 Nm motor. It gets its juice from an 84.8 kWh ternary lithium battery pack. And remember that fantasy 601-mile range? Yep, that’s the Pro for you.
Then there's the Pure, the baby of the bunch. She has a 132 kW motor with 310 Nm torque, running on a 62.6 kWh ternary lithium battery. This little one gives you a cool 480 miles on a full charge, which in my honest opinion, is enough to escape any awkward family reunion.
But if you're the sort who believes in "go big or go home," then the Prime's your beast. This four-wheel drive (because two is just too mainstream) packs an 80 kW motor up front and a 150 kW at the rear. Combined, that’s a hefty 230 kW and a total torque of 472 Nm. This one will zoom you across 560 miles before it asks for a recharge, probably just long enough to question your life choices.
Its exterior colors are pretty standard with white, blue, orange, and gold. But, here's the punch: the white paint demands an additional $272. For white! Maybe it's enchanted with unicorn dust. Who knows?
As for the interiors, my word, it's swankier than Taylor Swift’s hair on a good day! A dazzling 5.3-inch full LCD panel, a 12-inch central screen, and something called AR-HUD (not to be confused with a HUD from any futuristic movie ever). And there's a 2.17-square-meter sunroof – because who wouldn’t want to tan while driving? Safety features? Level 2+ driving assistance functions that include collision avoidance, emergency braking, and autonomous parking. How very modern!
And if you’re one for choices, VW lets you decide between six or seven-seat arrangements. If you ever wished your rear end could get a massage while driving, well, your dream's come true. Those front seats are electronically adjustable in twelve ways. Twelve. That's more flexible than me on a good day.
It's got 30 shades of ambient lights - so your drive can match your mood, from 'Monday Blues' to 'Golden Friday Eve'. For all its brilliance, it’s just such a darn shame that at a time when VW struggles to sell its cars in Europe and the US, the one vehicle the whole world would surely drool over is tantalizingly out of reach, locked away in the Middle Kingdom. Sigh!
Yours truly,
Captain Electro
