Electric Jetskis, Snowmobiles, and… Dinghies? Renault Might Be a Tad Confused
Look, I’ve been around the block (and the racetrack, the docks, and the airstrips) enough times to tell ya this – I love electric vehicles. Yes, it wasn't love at first sight but there's a thrill in that silent surge of power, a sense of the future woven into every mile. But even with my enthusiasm, sometimes a company needs to be told to pump the brakes. Looks like Renault is that company, and I’m gonna be the one slinging that advice.
You all know Renault, the French carmaker churning out those cute R5 hatchbacks. Well, now they've come down with this “5 Movements” thing. They debuted a whole pile of electric toys at Geneva – stuff to go fast and frolic in snow, water, you name it. Problem is, they seem a bit confused about what business they're actually in.
Let’s start with the Searacer EV Jet Ski, made with their buddy from water sports company. I get it, the ocean's fun, and those things can be a blast. But is making them really Renault's territory? And honestly, it looks a bit...well, like a bathtub with a rocket strapped on. I hear it won an award, but you know, sometimes those trophies can end up gathering dust next to participation ribbons.
Then they’ve got this electric snowbike, the Moonbike. That's basically an overpriced snowmobile as far as I can tell. It can hit a blistering 25 miles per hour (40 kph), sure, and those spikey tracks look kinda cool. But let's be real, if you're chasing winter thrills, wouldn't a proper snowmobile do the job better? Plus, I can't shake this image of a Parisian in a beret and scarf zipping around a snowy mountain. There's something inherently comical about it.
Don't even get me started on the sailboat that falls apart into a suitcase or whatever. Now, I appreciate the clever design, but no motor means if the wind dies, you're paddling. That's the kind of workout I save for the gym, not my leisurely sail. Then we have the Evol BMX thing, an electric bicycle with all the personality of a toaster – perfect for your morning commute if you don't mind looking a little, well, goofy.
The only thing that sorta piques my curiosity is the “Plume Foil.” Imagine an electric foiling surfboard with a propeller, and that's basically what you've got. Sounds neat, but also a tad impractical if you live anywhere without perfect beach weather. Plus, I can just picture myself wiping out on one of those things – not a graceful look, folks.
Look, I'm all for innovation. Electric motors are great for cars, heck, I even like some electric motorcycles. But Renault, baby, maybe stick to what you know? They make decent hatchbacks, don’t they? Why not focus on building a little electric rocket-hamster car? Heck, I’d even give it a test drive and promise to wear a beret while I do. Wouldn't that be a sight?
This whole "5 Movements" jamboree screams mid-life crisis. First, they're building water toys, then snowmobiles, then sailboats… what’s next, Renault-branded refrigerators? Fancy some electric beer, mate? Maybe even a battery-powered baguette slicer? It's enough to give an old gearhead a chuckle.
I’m trying to be positive about all this EV stuff, I really am, but sometimes the goofiness just gets the better of me. Let’s leave the jetskis, snowmobiles, and fridges to the other guys, Renault, and just concentrate on what we know you can do, okay? We're counting on you to show us the future of those zippy little cars.
