Ah, the world of electric vehicles – where dreams are as big as the batteries that power them. Speaking of big, have you heard about the latest monstrosity that made its way to the Tokyo show? It’s the IAT Design T-Mad EV pickup. If the Tesla Cybertruck and a Hummer had an overzealous child with an obsession for steroids, this would be it.

Let’s lay down some dimensions first, shall we? This thing measures a whopping 231.4 x 86.5 x 79.9 inches, almost reminiscent of the days when we used to measure ships! It's 7 inches wider and stands 5 inches taller than the Tesla Cybertruck. I mean, if the world runs out of housing someday, I reckon I could move into this.

Now, imagine this: You decide to hop into your T-Mad EV, but instead of just opening a door, you are presented with a two-step staircase. No, it's not a hotel entrance; it's just this giga-pickup ensuring you don’t pull a muscle trying to jump in. I guess running-boards are just too mainstream now.

Once inside, you'd be forgiven for thinking you’ve mistakenly stepped into the cockpit of a spaceship. The driver, or should I say the ‘captain,’ sits dead center, likely attempting to spot the corners of this behemoth. Elon's yoke steering seems almost cute next to the setup in here. Screens the size of dinner tables replace buttons because, well, the future!

The T-Mad promises full self-driving capabilities, thanks to its sensors and “cross-vision LIDAR with cloud computing.” While the battery promises ranges of 373 or 497 miles (600km or 800km, for my metric folks), it’s down from the initially claimed 622 miles (1,000km). But then again, who's counting? Certainly not the people buying half-a-million-dollar trucks.

Speaking of interiors, the diamond-pattern seating configuration can only house five souls. It's as if IAT thought, "Let's make the biggest car and put the smallest number of seats in it!" The seating is adjustable, with the front seat swiveling 180 degrees, and middle ones rotating 90 degrees. Why, you ask? Maybe for when you want to discuss existentialism with your friends mid-journey. Or possibly play a game of cards.

Then there’s the pop-up rear window that's reminiscent of convertible cars in 90s rom-coms. Except, this one’s on a truck, and instead of lovers looking longingly into each other’s eyes, you have alfresco rear-seat riders hoping they don’t get flung out.

If you're wondering when you can buy this marvel (or monstrosity?), IAT is still fishing for an automaker to produce the design. If it does hit the market, it's projected to be priced around a humble $500,000. So, if you've got half a million lying around and have an affinity for colossal cars, the T-Mad might just be for you.

In terms of specifications? It’s got front and rear motors, with an 805-hp output and a 1-speed auto transmission. It's expected to go from 0-60 in just 4.0 seconds. Which, honestly, is impressive for a car weighing between 8,000-9,000 lbs (3,628-4,082kg).

I'm all for electric innovation and massive vehicles that make me feel like a kid again. But with the T-Mad, I think the EV world might just be inching closer to building transformers. Autobots, roll out!

Yours truly,

Captain Electro